Of course, despite the 100% scientific fact that Diet Coke is made from the tears of angels and unicorns, and carbonated by the gentle vibrations of Art Garfunkel's voice, I believe -- though, some research doesn't necessarily agree -- that a major negative side effect of this addiction is chronic dehydration.
It's fluid. But it's not water.
Either way, it probably wasn't a smart way to live, and I was always parched.
So I've worked out some rules to help ease me back into healthy hydration. Mind you, they're terrible rules, and I routinely bend them to achieve a far more important goal. Namely, to drink more Diet Coke.
I'm enjoying one right now. Loopholes. They're everywhere!
The basic idea is that I can only have Diet Coke on the weekends and days off from work. However, business travel counts as a weekend. And, if Diet Coke is provided free as part of a work lunch or company event, that also negates the not-at-the-office rule.
Additionally, Friday at 12:00:01 a.m. is when weekends officially start. And if I'm going on vacation, the last actual day of work that week counts as a Friday.
Other exceptions include national holidays, important televised soccer matches (including pre- and post-game analysis), and whenever somebody says the secret magic word. Today it's "Synergy."
So, if you're a betting man, the smart money is on another Diet Coke!
I also have a good feeling about the A-Town Booger Heads.